saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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