I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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