Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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