Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
