5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
