I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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