Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize