Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
