i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
