Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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