Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
