I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
