Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's like iHOP with fire
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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