She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
there's paper in my vomit.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
