i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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