i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
