fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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