I got chris browned last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
