She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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