I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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