Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
