Best friends brother. Beat that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
