she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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