VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
