Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
