We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
