Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
