She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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