how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
