o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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