You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
