i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
