Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
