This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
