..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
home. puking in laundry basket.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He felt like a one man threesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
