two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
