I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize