I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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