I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
