At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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