So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize