just tell him i said nine months
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
only you would photoshop your dick
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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