The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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