Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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