I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
