if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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