my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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