ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
