Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
