I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
