just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
