and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
