Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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