Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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