Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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