I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
