I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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