I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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