this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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