My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize