we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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