A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize