yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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