pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
