i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize