He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
