The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
