i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
